I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
