Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
