I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
