The brown eye won't let me do that either.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
