Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize