I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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