ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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