So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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