it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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