Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
