Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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