didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
