doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
