I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
