he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
last night I used snow as a chaser
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
