why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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