I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
