come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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