but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize