Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
