Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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