Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize