is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
