apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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