IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
