i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
