**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize