There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
