I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
