i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The Olympian is in my bed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
