genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
