have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
