well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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