FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
