Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
