worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
