I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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