She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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