Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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