when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
