I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
