No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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