Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
