I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
