I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize