She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
