The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
