he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
