69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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