is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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