You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize