Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
