YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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