An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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