why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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