I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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