I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
