So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
