Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
