I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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