So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
