I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's never too late to be topless.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
foreskin is a definite game changer
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
