You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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