Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
